Projects · full-time-father

Three years as a full-time father — “love and example” as a leadership principle


From March 2016 to September 2019 I stepped away from full-time work to be my child's primary caregiver — from newborn to pre-school age — supporting the household with band performances and seasonal drip-coffee gift boxes. I studied three parenting systems (scheduled, attachment, and Waldorf) and distilled a principle of my own — development of body, mind and spirit at the centre, with loving presence and setting an example as the foundation. Over three years I developed a hundred-plus non-repeating family recipes and documented every one.

Role
Full-time father (primary caregiver)
Date
Mar 2016
Methods & tools
Parenting-education research (scheduled / attachment / Waldorf) · Child development: body, mind, spirit · Household financial planning · Meal design & iteration · Running a band & coffee side business
Three years, a hundred-plus non-repeating family recipes (documented on Instagram)

Background

In March 2016 I made a decision most people don’t: I left full-time work to become my child’s primary caregiver. For the next three and a half years the household ran on side income — 20+ band performances over that period, and custom drip-coffee gift boxes for companies and individuals at the Lunar New Year, Dragon Boat and Mid-Autumn festivals.

This wasn’t a gap. It was the most thorough go I’ve ever had at the thing called education.

My son, newly born — where these three years began

What I did

  • Studied three parenting systems that don’t agree with each other: the scheduled-routine school, attachment parenting, and Waldorf’s view of developing body, mind and spirit. I didn’t rush to pick a side — first I worked out what question each one was answering, and when it applied.
  • Distilled a principle of my own: put the child’s development across body, mind and spirit at the centre, with loving presence and setting an example as the foundation — because what actually transfers to a child is only what you yourself live out.
  • Treated every day’s meals as a project under continuous iteration: a hundred-plus non-repeating family recipes over three years, adjusting prep, nutrition balance and plating each time, photographed into a complete portfolio.
  • Kept the side business running: fitted band performances and coffee roasting into the gaps around childcare, so household income never stopped and I stayed connected to the outside world.

Outcome

Three and a half years of full-time presence, from newborn to pre-school; a hundred-plus recipes as a visible record; and the principle of “love and example”, which became the thing I trust most in management — rules govern behaviour, but what actually changes a person is how the people around them behave.

Leading a team and raising a child come down to the same levers in the end: patience, and what you yourself are like. This chapter is the private version of my belief that HR is the largest educational initiative inside any organization — and it’s where the warmth in this résumé comes from.

Everyday presence: brushing teeth, laundry, forest trails, breakfast at the café
Weekends: markets, the batting cage, the park — and the coffee gift boxes going out for the festivals

Outcome

Full-time primary caregiver for three and a half years, from newborn to pre-school age
20+ band performances in that time, plus custom drip-coffee gift boxes for companies and individuals at three seasonal festivals — keeping household income uninterrupted
Developed a hundred-plus non-repeating family recipes over three years, iterating on prep, nutrition and plating and photographing each one
Distilled a workable parenting principle — development of body, mind and spirit at the centre, with loving presence and example as the foundation